== dats her ==

back

2005-11-27T13:45:00.000+08:00

wow .. its been ages since i update dis blog of mine..ders alot of ting happened around me lately..hmmm.. where shud i start?? oh ya .. maybe wif the photos i'm about to publish will exlain sum how .. enjoy!!

sum pics of me ...

2005-06-29T23:21:00.000+08:00

de new me ...
after 1 mth of werking ... gosh ... oh my

BEFORE

AFTER

I am OLD yet YOUNG @ heart ....

2005-06-29T23:06:00.000+08:00

well, being very bz lately wif my part-time job .. so kind of lazy to blog .. eventually, i tot of stopping to blog .. but jus wanna gif another shot .. who knoes i can start blogging like b4 ... hhheheheh .. well, i jus celebrated my 23rd bdae dis mth .. so kind of old now .. or shud i say "mature" heheheh ... but ders craziness n wacky in me still ... my mum n dad bought me a pair of Birkrnstock sandals ... i am soooooo happy .. hehehe my dad choose de patterns n color thou .. but i am pleased cos he sure noe my taste ... heheheheh .. anywae, mum n dad is not to late for me to say thx again and i am very happy wif the present ...

and not forgetting, a special of fren surprise me wif a "tigger", the character from de winnie the pooh .. he gave to me personally on the eve of my bade .. i was never expected but i am damn pleased n happy bout de soft toy .. seriously, i slept n eat wif the tigger .. i hug him wherever i am .. till my one n only sister stole it n hide it w/o me knoeing ... sigh but lucky she returned to me after 3 days of disappearing ... if not i will jus kick her $^@&^ ass ... hahahahahha

What is life ??

2005-05-19T11:02:00.000+08:00

Have you ever just woke up one morning and wondered what you were doing with your life?I have and on that morning I thought about everything... how beautiful the birds sound in the morning.

How peaceful the sea looks at night when you can see it almost sparkle with the power of the wind.

How lucky I am to be blessed with a family and how it is a miracle in itself how it was that everybody is born.We are blessed every morning when the sun rises.We are blessed because every time the sun rises we are given a chance to experience this wonderful gift which is life and we are given that chance every morning to make a difference in that day.

To change someones life.To help someone.And as I lay there that morning I realised I spent so much time thinking negative and not thinking about what I had and how lucky I was to be given that chance to live that day.

Life is a journey and we were put here to experience that journey and leave our life with a unique personal journey.One which no-one has or ever will experience again

my love profile .... any takers ??

2005-05-19T10:02:00.000+08:00

Cancer - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You're intuitive enough to know what's going wrong in a relationship early on

A total sweetheart - you're often the most caring person anyone knows

You are a generous and devoted parter to whoever you fall in love with

Your negative traits:

Insecurity - you tend to need a huge amount of comforting from your partner

You tend to be overly sensitive and easily hurt, which make loving you difficult

It's difficult to predict your moods. One minute you're up - the next you're down.

Your ideal partner:

Someone equally sensitive, who wants to take time to get to know you deeply

Dreams of an everlasting love - complete with marriage and a family

Loves to take care of you. Being a good cook and masseuse doesn't hurt!

Your dating style:

Slow. You enjoy dates that last all day, with plenty of time to talk and get to know one another.

Your seduction style:

Quite tender and loving, once you are comfortable in your relationship.

Coy. You tend to play it cool to drive your lover wild.

Orally talented - you're known as the best kisser in the zodiac.

Tips for the future:

Be a little less sensitive. Not every little mistake should hurt you.

Spend time away from your partner every so often - independence is a good thing.

Find ways to take care of yourself. You'll be happier if you put yourself first.

Best place to meet someone online:

eHarmony - you'll be able to take the time to get to know each potential match well

Best color to attract mate: Aqua

Best day for a date: Wednesday

Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

time passes

2005-05-03T14:12:00.000+08:00

time passes so fast dat i dont really knoe wats goin on
realising dat i'm off from school
entering the werking world soon

i misses school
i misses my beloved frens
i misses my lecturers

tresuring every moments we shared
tremendously awesome

sigh ... how i wish i can turn back times .....

brand new day ..

2005-04-25T09:32:00.000+08:00

9.30 am - awoken by de sound of the grandpa clock ... dong dong dong!

BLUR BLUR BLUR .... :(

alone once more ....

2004-11-26T11:24:00.000+08:00

i was alone once more ....
no words to discribe no more ....
no more tears rolling down ....

again and again ....
broken as always ....
maybe i was made to ....

goodbyeeeeee ....

sue

fallin in love .....

2004-11-10T14:02:00.000+08:00

Not being update for long .... taking the oppurtunity now to update in the office .... =)
yesterday was awsome had a blind data with "an" ... n u knoe wat for the 1st date he already late and he said due to traffic jams.. i ended up wait for half and hour and den i gave up waiting and went to Project Shop at wisma to look for another pair of slippers...and dere i was lookin, he called me and ask where am i ... i den asked him to look for me at Project Shop...wow ... he's so cute i cud fall for him on spot ... nice coolz hair and dressing... heheheh ... i bought the slipper and at the same time he tease me saying dat is dat for HARI RAYA ... oh gosh wat de heck!! den he carried my paper bag away and try to fit his project file ... but then it was to small for it. Then there's dis sales gal saw and offer him a big paper bag... he was surprised and i smiled at him ... both of us kind of do not where to makan and end up we went to Lucky Plaza and had our break fast.... he kind of chatty jus like me ... dats de best part .... yeah beside we r CANCERIAN ... and like his b'dae to day before mine <> i found that we easily connect and there's chemistry.... heheheh....while having our meal ... i ask alot bout him and find out there's a lot of coincidence issue from small till now .... like where he stay past and current, his frens and stuff and even the size of our feet .. dont u tink its awesome .....
after having a simple meal, he said he needs some dessert and u knoe wat ... is a CAKE ...hehehe he so cute......i never had any after meal ... eheh den the excited moment came by .... we headed to heeren coz none of us don not knoe where to go .... so we sat in front of HMV... den and dere was the 1st kiss i received from him on my cheek before that he kind of pinching and squeezing my arms n cheeks ehheheh .... he tot i am a walking teddy bear ahhh .... we chat and chat and i guess i fall for him but jus not sure bout anything cos i told him to go wif the flow .... and i guess we did ... hehehe ... yeah i do present him wif a kiss on his cheek tooo and den lips ... hehehhe he love to disturb now and den ... i guess i can tok to him anything under the sun n sea .... but as u knoe tymes fly so fast ...dat i wish not to go home ... hehehe ... den he ask me whether i care to walk hm wif him and i agreed too ... so dats where i am sure bout wat i feel for him ... he hold my hand and grib it very tight .... and pinch and kiss me @ every traffic light ... and even smell me ... heheheheh awwwwww he makes me feel good .... all the way we chat, kiss and hug .... some pple kind of jelos i guess looking at us ... cos we're so mushy @ times... heheheh... but its a kind of feelings i am looking for long ... serius ... ahhhhhhhhhhhhh how i wish nite never came yesterday ... dat i cud see him smile and laff ...

sue

sigh ...

2004-11-03T20:41:00.000+08:00

y i have to lead dis life .... so meaning less .... been taken advantage all the tyme .... y am i so stupid ....

sue

izzit really me ?? ;)

2004-10-20T14:11:00.000+08:00

You Are an Exotic Beauty!

No matter what your ehtnic background, you've got a unique look

And your one of a kind beauty makes an imprint in every man's mind

You hardly ever wear the same outfit twice, and your hair is always changing

As a result, your look is always new and fresh - never outdated or stale

What Type of Beauty Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

tuesday bluessss

2004-10-19T08:57:00.000+08:00

its being like 2 weeks
i have not updating this blog
oh well, to busy to even on the net lately
because due to the stress and pressure being on me
thx god my report and presentation was over
i was supposed to end my attachment but then my boss wants me to exyend till
end of november
by then, school reopens ... oh man dats coolz
anywae, ramadhan is here again
and i am so in love with ramadhan not becoz of hari raya after that
jus dat the month itself feels and makes me feel better than other month

anywae this year, me not goin to raya also ...
no mood dont noe y
sigh...:

-------------------------

now me in the office
yawning
due to the tiredness yesterday
painting my room
i am so in love with my room

* will update the photo for u guys ...;)

gtg, good day

sue

sum tots

2004-10-01T21:59:00.000+08:00

" Love is like war ... Easy to start ... Hard to find ... Impossible to forget "

sue

frens....

2004-09-25T22:07:00.000+08:00

Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff.

Life's short.

If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it.

A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.

Some people make the world special by just being in it.

Best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us.

When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead,

you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.
sue

jus another day...

2004-09-22T22:50:00.000+08:00

i am so gonna dye ...

cos i am stuck wif my final report and its lyke 4th oct need to send ... oh gosh i'm in dead shit

i am strugglin ... sorry yati ... i cant MSN just now as tyme is precious for me ... oh well wat de hack` ;)

jus now i was blog hoppin at a fren's blog ... cos i'm bored n stress up ... awww read it ... so sad to hear dat he's heartbroken ... hopefully everytin wen ryte ...

oh my ... i cant write nor tink no more ... i'm having a mentalblock now ..... arghhhhhhhhh`

sue

raining cats n dogs

2004-09-21T21:43:00.000+08:00

was a rainy day todae ...

i was sent to get sum stuff @ Funan n Sim Lim Sq ...

took the cap from werk ... oh gosh so shiok man in de cab ... slept de whole journey ...

wen i reach Funan, i shivered to hell ... oh gosh so cold and i was lyke in polo-t and short skirt ...

lookin around n end buyin the so called mouse, lazer and presenter after strollin ...

felt tired ... need a cup of coffee but den its lyke my fren yati cant made it as she meetin her hubby ...

so i ended up alone in de rain ... bought an umbrella @ watson ... so cheap n coolz ... mine was in black ...

walking in de rain wif a pair of slippery flops ... oh gosh ... u can jus imagine how silly i look lyke ...

reached the MRT stn, pple all around me lookin ... not sure lookin @ wat ... defitnately nt me ...

who cares` ...

i went to de last cabin ... set in ... arghhhhh ... saw my old tyme mate in primary sch ... oh gosh ...

he so lyke soft { u shud noe wat i mean } ... but he changed ... i am so happy to meet him but den ..

i am so stuuuppiidd of not asking his number ... arghhhhhhh ... dumb me !??!?!?!?

TBC

death???

2004-09-19T11:15:00.000+08:00

Letting go for something more

Living was jus a mistake

That i could never rectify

No matter how hard i tried

Letting go for something else

Death's the only choice ..

sue

2004-09-16T22:55:00.000+08:00

oh gosh ... jus had de spore idol result live on channel 5 .... n wat ...maia in... oh moi god.... she sux to de max .... so wat she sexy .... wat a bullshit... but nvm ... my beverly and Mr Cat got in wif de beautiful song ....look into ur eyes....ahhhhh so niceeeeee... but i guess he need to change his outfit n smileeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pls mr cat ..... meow`.... ahhahaha... oh well to de rest dont b sad ... n not forgetin to my fren yati ... hahah HAIZAD not innnnnnnnn... he so damn cute yet awful... hehehhehehe :P sue

read and understand .... my frenssss ..

2004-09-16T19:29:00.000+08:00

A well-known speaker started off his seminar
by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked,
"Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up.
He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you
but first, let me do this.
He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.
Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"
And he dropped it on the ground
and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.
"Now, who still wants it?"
Still the hands went into the air.
My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.
No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it
because it did not decrease in value.
It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives,
we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt
by the decisions we make and
the circumstances that come our way.
We feel as though we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or
what will happen, you will never lose your value.
Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased,
you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.
The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we
know,
but by WHO WE ARE.
You are special- Don't EVER forget it.
sue

pisssssssssedddddddd off ...

2004-09-13T21:49:00.000+08:00

arghhhhhhhhhh ... i am so mad ... i can feel i will blew up anytyme ... i was suppose to meet dis asshole but end up he didn't turn up nor msg me ... he made me wait for lyke 1.5 hrs ... oh my... i was feelin damn tired n den he made me cum to CT Hal ... i was totally pissed off den me proceed to marina sq ... was eating n drinkin @ starbucks ... chat wif sum of de staff der ... very friendly fellow ... make my day ... bout 9pm i return hm ... got dis bloody msg frm dat asshole saying dat he wanna meet me @ gombak ... fuck his ass ... me no tyme n wont be an ass lyke him to go dwn der to meet him ... he can kiss my ass ... n dats not de only ting pissed me off ... got to surf dis fellow blog ... saw him tag ... to me and say "sue can u stop wat u doin?" wat have i done..?? jus saying n wondering y ... also wrong ... n i guess wat ever i say to him is wrong ... oh well if he tinks he so damn good ... jus go ahead ... i dont give a fuck anymore ... pple always treat me lyke shit ... dey dont appreciate ..i am okie ... jus dat i pray dey will get wat dey used to treat me ... i will n make sure it happens to damn ... to all fuckin fellows out dere ... dont u tink highly, vain or watso ever fuckin stuff of urself ... even dough u tot u never hurt oders ... let tell u ... U HURT ODERS SO DEEPLY ... DAT 1 FINE DAY U WILL BE MUCH PAIN ... NEVER TO LOOK DOWN OR TREAT ODERS UNFAIRLY ....FUCKING SON OF A BITCH``````` arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sue

sunday nyte ..

2004-09-12T20:15:00.000+08:00

went out awhile wif moi mum n dad .. accompany dem to M1 to buy handphone .. so bored n i tot y not ?? den mei went to roxy boutique get sum accessories den let moi dad fetch mei n sis .. after sendin moi mum to werk .. reached home wen for dinner .. den chat wif moi buddies .. while actually waiting for a reply from him .. but den he didn't .. sigh` wat is he up to?? i guess he's havin a good tyme wif his oder frens .. oh well, if dats de case i will b gladful .. but if he's not .. i am worried .. yeah a close fren of mine says," y r u still tinkin of him?? cos he cant be bothered wif u .. let it b" .. mayb wat he says is wat majority will tot of mei .. but i am not cos i feel worried, sorry for him .. i jus dont noe y .. cos mayb he's a fren and a fren to me is valuable .. i dont noe right now .. jus hoping dat if he cud read my blog .. n reply to my msgs .. if only he cud .. i suppose ..... sue

sunday morn`

2004-09-12T10:36:00.000+08:00

woke up by the tone of moi fone..try to get back to sleep but cant..n so be it..on moi notebook and log in to a fren blog..n read bout wat had happen to him last nyte..it seems he has a prob wif his family..sigh, he did msg mei yest late afternoon but den never reply jus wondering y ???..i did msg him jus now once i woke up..hope he reply..if he drop by moi blog..jus to let him knoe dat he still has mei to care bout him..cum'on be rational..dont says ting u never knoe n dont assumed~i remembered dis word cos he always says dat to me at dat 1 moment, never to assume...now is my turn to say dat to u ..if u do regards mei as ur fren pls dont disc urself ...... u're not stupid neither ur wateva u tink...jus need to learn de hard way i guess....i will be encouragin n supportin him..in wateva stuff he wants to do.. .. :) sue

pieces of me ...

2004-09-11T23:11:00.000+08:00

on a Monday i am waiting
Tuesday I am fading and by
Wednesday i can't sleep
Then the phone rings
I here you
And the darkness is
a clear view
as you have come to rescue me
Fall ...with you I fall so fast
I can hardly catch my breath
I hope it la-asts

Chorus:
Ohhh it seems like I can finally rest my
head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhh it's as if you know me better than I ever
knew myself
I love how you can tell
all the pieces pieces pieces of me
all the pieces pieces pieces of me

I am moody
messy
I get restless and it's senseless
how you never seem to care
When I'm angry, you listen
Make me happy, it's your mission
and you won't stop till i'm there
fALL..sometimes I fall so fast
when i hit that bottom crash
you're all I ha-ave

Chorus:
Ohhh it seems like i can finally rest my
head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhh it's as if you know me better than I ever
knew myself
I love how you can tell
all the pieces pieces pieces of me

Instrumental...

verse 3:
how do you know
everything I'm about to say
am i that obvious and
if its written on my face
i hope it never goes away, yeah
Instrumental...
verse 4:
On a Monday i am waiting
and by Tuesday I am fading into
your arms so i can breathe

Chorus:
Ohhh it seems like i can finally rest my
head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhh it's as if you know me better than I ever
knew myself
i love how you can te-ell
Ohhh I love how you can te-ell
Ohhh I love how you can tell
all the pieces pieces pieces of me
all the pieces pieces pieces of me...

hope u guys njoy ... pieces of sue ... :)

2004-09-11T09:27:00.000+08:00

all de stuff restricted in spore mRt ` woooshhh~

2004-09-10T23:00:00.000+08:00

@ starbucks ... c my teeth so white ... X -colgate model .. hahah

2004-09-10T22:56:00.001+08:00

hey diy ... wat r u tinking huh???? wait lah ...ur HUBBY cumming liao!? ChAK `

2004-09-10T22:56:00.000+08:00

diy n her beloved HUBBY ... awwww ...act cute OnLy !? ;P

2004-09-10T22:55:00.000+08:00

crazy dudette of de year !? hahhahhhaha me n my peace !? oh gosh~

de day at PS ....

2004-09-10T22:32:00.000+08:00

back from werk @ 5pm..
reach and change..
meet my buddy, yati n diy @ PS..chill @ starbucks n drink my fav ice caffe mocha...
emmm suppose to be ice caffe latte but need a change..
n de very bes part was i had a free drink bcos of de stamp..
hahah..my budds need to pay but i jus got free awwwww..
sorrie my frens..not ur day~hehehehe..n de best part was i brought..
my digital camera..
n wat else my beloved budds wonders wif de digital camera..loe..hahaha...
dis r de moments of truth........cum sneak peeps...

diy n yati .... coolz smilez babes'

my new hair-do ...

2004-09-09T19:35:00.000+08:00

taken dis picture in de ladies @ my werkin place

c my hair .. so short already and color too 4 fresher look ... ;)
so peeps hows my hair n my new look ... most of my collegues cant even recognise ... its so lyke oh gosh ... n even de guard was askin me , Henry : " where's susienna?" ... to my amazed ... i answered , suzy : "me lor ~!?" he was shocked n says COOLZ ..... ;) hhahhaha .. i guess its drastic changed ~ :)

ku kesali - ning baizura

2004-09-04T22:58:00.000+08:00

oh gosh ~ never have i tot i wud listen to mly song but dis song has set me free from not listen to it .... here it goes ....

Di manakah kan ku cari
Rasa rindu bersamamu
Tak kan mungkin
Memori kan kembali lagi
Bicaramu ku hayati
Senyumanmu ku ingati
Kini tiada guna ku tangisi
Korus
Kau tak peduli
Budimu tidak ku hargai
Sangsi ku ragui di hati
Nyata kini ku rasa sepi
Kau telah tiada pergimu tanpa
Sebarang pesan
Prasangka ku kini berakhir
Ku berdosa kerana tidak mencintaimu
Rasa kesal bergelora
Rasa sepi tak berperi
Hanya tinggal kenangan denganmu
Kehilangan itulah yang ku rasakan
Hanyalah uuh doaku kau tenang di sana
Doaku kau tenang di sana

ning baizura has woken me up by de song she sang ... kind of dwn lately ... n dis song suit de mood n ambience sigh~

sue

arghhhhh~

2004-09-03T10:33:00.000+08:00

walau wei ..
feeling damn bored now ..
n de best tink ..
i was not issue my pay yet ..
n today is lyke 3rd ..
i tink de HR is sleepin ..
arghhhh ~ i am broked
tot of paying billz ..
due reaching ahhhhh ..
:(

anywae, yesterdae had a gud chat wif hafiizh ..
n find outz, dat he's getting cheeky now ..
heard no more attached ..
heheh .. single mingle lah dia tu ..
to my surprise, he had a same digital camera lyke mine ..
he so damn kepo ..
yeah ~ he is ..

* fiizh dont b cheeky k .. nanti me pun lari .. tak nak date u .. ;)

gudbye ~

2004-09-02T22:54:00.000+08:00

i msg him to say goodbye..
to my surprise he reply ..
never expecting him to reply me ..
i am very happy to hear from him actually ..
uh huh ..
anywae he is flying 2moroe ..
goin to be a long day for him i guess ..
but he never mention whether he is cummin back or not ..
jus wondering only .. sigh~ only god knoe's ----> coolz song by yellowcard, only one ..

sue

take care my fren ...

2004-09-02T11:45:00.000+08:00

sigh~
a fren of moi flying off to aussie tonite
hmmm... cant even reach him nowadays
dont noe y ?
me so sad ... but used to it ;)
i PM him at MSN, at his blog too
i've read his blog
he seem quite down and depressed
wat had happened ?
not being busy body but wish i cud help him coz i care and concern
bout it as he is my fren eventhough he never treat me as 1 ...
i never assumed anythin okie
jus wishing him safe journey to and fro
if he happens to drop by dis blog of mine ...
jus to let him knoe that i've grown yp to b a better person, able to accept and stand on my feet and loving myself even better
as no1 will
hahahaha ... crap ryte!!!!

okie2 i wont say no more lyke that ... cos i will b wack by my budds ... sorrie sista`

to whom is concern jus take care n u will always knoe where to find me .... if u need a shoulder to cry on ... ayte

sue

u RoCks Galssss.... WOhOooooo~

2004-09-01T22:30:00.000+08:00

de coolest budds in de entire WORLD .... u guys ROCKzzz .....

happi moments ... 2gether ... ; )

gents ...

2004-08-31T21:15:00.000+08:00

gents
as u can see, even de toilet was given a coolz impact....
jus like de photo above ...
it's so funky n trendy at de same time ...
makes me wans to sleep n eat n ... hehehehehhee
crappy me !!!

sue

smilezzzz

2004-08-31T12:39:00.000+08:00

what makes upon smile, wait awhilwe
take time to see what sets you free
memories from the past that last
images in the mind you once left behind

when come bad day, think disway
all in all you can, still walk tall
be proud but dont shout aloud
just wait awhile and give that smile

sue

me

my damn life ...

2004-08-25T19:58:00.000+08:00

morn wake up getting ready to go werk but infact cannot even opened my eyes but i force
i was yawnin all the way to werk oh gosh !! look how sleepy and draggy i am ... n de best ting is dat my neck aching OUCHHHHHH....
reach werk as usual and change to my gear den start the routine again and again. hehehehe but was quite fun actually with Mr Tan aka crappy hahahah... hope he wont hear dis...
so anxious with the last updating and never realise its time~~
ohhhh... aka crappy not werkin 2molow ... he is goin to course sigh .... i need to attend 3 phones at one short oh god .... like phua chu kang!!!!!! :P
reach home bout 5pm ... arghhhhhh ... heard my mum nag over cash ... i act dumb ... dont even tok to a single soul in de hse ... n de pain part my mum tok ill bout me .... only god knoes how my heart feel ....sigh~ n partly dats de reason y i dont want to cum home early .... damn~

heart broke .......

sue

aku tiada erti ...

2004-08-24T13:54:00.000+08:00

ku terduduk tiada bererti
pandangi langit tiada henti
tersudutkan keputusan asaan kini
perkenankan kucurahkan isi hati
melepaskan jiwaku tiada erti
merebahkan serpihan hatiku
dgrlah langit
tiap-tiap titisan air mataku kini

sue

sHit HoLE~

2004-08-23T12:45:00.000+08:00

I would like to bring your attention to the article in Life!
today about a production company,Dramabox who is in a financial turmoil.
At the endof the article, was familiar phrase which I hold on to daily to get through life -
"When you are in deep sh*t, who's going to help you? You'd better help yourself."
It such coincidence that there's another person holding on to the same phrase.
I think because it is the truth. No one was there for me to ask hows it going?
No one.
No one was there to hold me when the tears fell.
I hold myself.
Me, myself and I was the one to told myself that everything's goingto work.
I even speak to myelf and someone thoughtI was shizophernic.
So, if the going get tough for you, just remember the phrase that I hang on todaily....cos, my friend....thats life. You survive it...and you survive it alone.........

sue

sue ---> moving on ...

2004-08-18T15:25:00.000+08:00

with notin to say i leave you to read ...

i tot this would have been
sumting we would have transcended
i'm jus proved wrong again
we're too torn to be mended

walking away from all of this
not lookin back with a glance
i wonder wat we all missed
this was all a wasted chance

forgettin everything in the past
it was sumting dat wouldn't last
i'm moving on with almost nuting
only with the emotions i have sunk in
dis was all a mistake to begin with ....

sue

aDa ApA dGN cINtA

2004-08-16T15:04:00.000+08:00

ku lari ke hutan
kemudian teriakku
ku lari ke pantai
kemudian menyayikan
sepi...sepi dan sendiri aku benci
aku mau bagar...aku mau di pasar
bosan aku dgn penat
dan enyah saja kau pekat
seperti berjelaga jika ku sendiri
pecahkan saja gelasnya biar ramai
biar mengaduh sampai gaduh
Aih...ada malaikat menyulam
jaring laba-laba belang ditembok
keraton putih
biar berdera
atau aku harus lari pantas
belok ke hutan .....

sue

tHx 4 mAKiNG mY daY ...

2004-08-15T20:31:00.000+08:00

to my dearest fwens ...
u noe who u r ....
to many to mention ...

thx for ur encouragement ...
thx for ur advice ...
thx for ur care n concern ...

i was not hopin nor expectin ...
but u guys were dere wen ...
i need a shoulder to cry on ...

u guys light me up ...
make me smile ...
wen i'm down n sorrow ...

i have told myself ...
to stand on guards ...
let go tings dat r not meant 4 me ...

2morrow goin to b a brand new day 4 me ...
wanna b de wacko, crappy sue before ...
miss myself being such a way ....

wanna b de happiest sue ever again ~

* to all my fwens ... i love u guys n thx a million ~

sue

i love how much no one cares ....

2004-08-14T00:03:00.000+08:00

let's you see
the true side of people

the wants all show
and care less about feelings

heartfelt feelings
i love how much no one cares
at least i care

i care bout ur piddy tots
did u ever tink bout dat ?

i really do
or did

i dont knoe if i'll ever stop really caring
but i can try
maybe we can see wat happens?

i sign
cant try
i'll always care, even IF U DONT .....

sue

fReaKy ToTS oF sUe ....

2004-08-13T12:06:00.000+08:00

tot of not goin to werk todae
but after much of tots
i decided to go

out of moi hse
walked wif a blank mind
jus wondering wat had happen to me
never seem to b myself
always day dreamin
always feelin down

went outz wif moi bes fwen yesterday
gossip, chat, shop
seein pple around me
n in my mind tinkin
y r dey so happy
y cant i be like dem or jus b like i used to
so lovin, carin
sigh~

now i seldom talked to my parents
dey seem kind of plunge me to a corner
i am in my world
dey r in deirs

i guess dey really want me to go
especially to those whom i care, worried n so called love
i will go .... for sure .... silently
i'll disappear .....

sue

nObOdY ....

2004-08-11T22:08:00.000+08:00

i've been rejected and now i cant find wat i left behind
be strong
too many problems
dont noe where i belong
it's where i lies, broken inside
bbbbrrrroookkkeeennn inside ......

my feelings i hide
my dream i cant find
im losing my mind
i've fallen behind
i cant find my place
i'm losing faith
i'm falling from grace
i'm all over de place

sue

wAt Have I dOne ....

2004-08-10T23:15:00.000+08:00

wat have i done to myself
why must i treat myself dis way
who started all
when did it happen
how did it started
whom am i referin to???...

++++++++++++++++++++++

i used to laff
i used to smile
i used to care
but now its all gone
cryin alone in my bed
is de only fren i have
dont noe wat will happen
feelin scared, worried, sad

i wish i cud die in my sleep
i wish i cud change bck tyme
i wish i cud ......

but i cud'nt .....

sue

gOne Wif dE wIND ....

2004-08-09T22:51:00.000+08:00

"can old tymes be returned to me ??"

sue

nEvEr cHanGe ...

2004-08-08T22:24:00.000+08:00

life is so predictable
at tymes its good
at tymes its bad
is de matter of cum and go

but never will i change
if i meant to be far away
i am still wat i am
wen de 1st tyme u noe me ........

sue

dAYs AwAITS mE tO fLY oFF ....

2004-08-04T14:58:00.000+08:00

another day
jus like other days
pass so fast
without me knoein

sigh~

goin off soon.....

to visit the needy
who needs my care n love

here i cum ....
bringin my love to u, kids ...
may b dey appreciate more ...

in dis tiny islanz
i shower pple wif care n love
some like n some cant be bother
some knoe but act dont knoe ---> blur blur

never hope dat pple might care bout me
but jus bare in mind dat ders sum1 (like me ~)
who cares ....

i cant force n make pple to accept it
mayb wen i am not in dis tiny islanz for long
may change deir live

but wateva it is
dis is wat i am
cant be help ... i am wat i am ....

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

mum n dad if u're readin dis blog of mine ~ dont worry too much k ~ even if ders no1 care bout me @ all ~ i knoe u guys do ~ cum'on i am ur big gurl now ~ i can take care of myself ~ heheheh ---> * am i sure ?? ~)

my best of de best gurl fwen i'm gonna miz u gurls man... damn~ but jus wait 4 me wen i came bck ayte ~!

last but not least ----> to i--a--a- ~ i guess wen i'm gone u take care ayte ~ dont tink dats ders no1 gonna like u or care bout u ... i may not b de person u're searching for.. .. so i hope wen i cum bck ... i wanna c ur smile k
thx for de kisses u gave me ... ~)

sue

aKu IngIn DiSaYANgi ...

2004-08-03T19:21:00.000+08:00

setiap insan dimaya ini
ingin disayangi
jua ingin menyayangi
namun tak semua bernasib baik
dapat dirinya dikasihi
oleh insan yg disayangi

hati rasa kekosongan
kesepian mencengkam perasaan
walau dikeliling sahabat and keluarga
diri tetap rasa terpinggir
dalam keseorangan
menyendiri tanpa cinta

aku ingin disayangi
sekali lagi
oleh insan yg mengerti diri ini
pergilah sepi
hadirlah sayang
janganlah hati ini disakiti
berulang kali

sue

sue

hIDup SeOrANg AKu ....

2004-08-02T19:25:00.000+08:00

seorang aku ...
sendiri berdiri
merenung laut saujana membiru
fikiran terus melayang jauh
meski kaki masih digigi pantai

seorang aku ...
sering mengenang nasib aku
hidup kian dihambat sepi
tanpa teman disisi menemani
tatkala insan lain berbahagia
disamping insan yg menyayangi

seorang aku ...
masih mengimbas kenangan silam
pada sebuah kasih yg kecundang
walau hati ingin melenyapkan
seraut wajah yg pernah mengecewakan

seorang aku ...
kini masih sendiri
mengharap ikhsan illahi
reda dan pasrah dgn takdirnya
walau hati ingin memiliki

seorang aku ...
masih menanti dan menanti
kehadiran insan bernama kekasih
agar dapat menceriakan kembali
warna-warni suram dihati ini

seorang aku ...
terus memohon kehadra illahi
semoga aku dipertemukan
dengan insan yg lebih mengerti
suatu masa nanti

sue

zee

mONdAY bLUEZ ....

2004-08-02T14:15:00.000+08:00

was a rainin day again
so lazy to wake up
but was made to

feeling very weak
still feelin damn sick
sigh~

coffin non stop
pity me

reach work
full of smile

seein my fwen
makes my day

sue

cOoL nYte ....

2004-08-01T22:01:00.000+08:00

a cool nyte

listenin 2 sum old songs

make me smile n sad too

huggin my pillow

feelin so comfy

i wish i was huggin you

but deres noway i can

u're not mine

n i dont belong to u

how i wish i was

but i knoe i wont

never expected anything

taking tings easy

not tinkin too much even

only god knoes everytin

how i miss u

sue

dE nYTE ....

2004-08-01T00:22:00.000+08:00

de day had cum to de end

notin much been done

jus hangin n chillin

in my room

jus had a quarrel

wif my mum

jus dont understand her

i cant sleep nor tink

my mind blank

my mouth shut all nyte

i let my nytes full wif tears

dats de only answer

i can have

sue

rEd RubY dROplETS ....

2004-07-31T01:17:00.000+08:00

crying tears of ruby blood
knowing dat i was damn bad
feeling like a worthless soul
never be able to feel truly whole

it stains my cheek crimson red
i feel as if i be better off dead
droplets drip down from my chin
cant remember where i begin

* sittin by de window, feelin de morn breeze, tiny droplets fall to my cheek w/o realisin ... *
* to de person, i misses most, i dont knoe wat to say nor do, i am cryin in my bed everynyte, i dont know y *
* dont bother to ask, i dont want u too, jus let me b in dis sorrow thru my journey in life *

despair : sue

BrOken ....

2004-07-30T23:40:00.000+08:00

broken

alone

forgotten

untouched

unloved

im broken inside

im left alone to bleed

im forgotten about

im untouched by you

im unloved by you

never again to be broken

never again to be bleed

never again to be forgotten

never again to untouched

never again to be unloved

never am i to be broken by you

never again

im sick n tired of being forgotten

never again

never will leave my heart to bleed

again

I WONT LET ANYONE

sue

sUmmer SunShine ....

2004-07-30T09:20:00.000+08:00

rise n shine

a brand new day

woke up wif a smile

tellin myself to b happy

smile n b cheerful as b4

freshen up

ready to go werk

out of my hse

smile to whoever i knew

once reach werk

collegues greetin each other

makes my day

stood awhile

by de cheerful garden

breathin de fresh air

de scented flowers

dey look so lovely

y cant i be jus like dem

to b care n to be love

to b given a chance to make

sum1 days

de morn

wen silent w/o answers

sue

tO wHOm I cARE mOst ....

2004-07-29T19:50:00.000+08:00

ders tyme wen u're lonely

der's tyme u're troubled

but der's tyme wen u're happy

look forward

dont look back

wat pass is pass

cant turn bck tyme

i am worried

i am scared

cant u see dat?

seein u like dat

makes me feel sorry

plsss

i am beggin u

dont do dat to urself

* wen u read dis, u knoe who u r

u need me, u knoe where to look for me

i will always be dere for u

even though

wen i am not around no more

sue

bREak mY BeSt Frens hEART ...

2004-07-29T15:14:00.000+08:00

dearest diy n ty

i am really sorry

i am to sensitive at tymes

not dat i dont want to share

jus dat i am not sure myself

i knoe u gals care bout me

in i care bout u gals too

i'll tink bout thoughs words u shared

wif me

i've been crying all de while

dont noe wat to do

its so lonely here

need sum1 to hug

need sum1 to save me wen i fall

need a shoulder to cry on

sue

i Am So SorRy, I knOE, i HoPE ....

2004-07-29T08:01:00.000+08:00

another gloomy day for me

not goin werk

stuck at hm

feeling really sick

awaits for de tyme to cum

but it never does

why?

.............................................

i am sorry my fren

i am so sorry to love u

i am so sorry to care bout u

i am so sorry dat i get excited

breathing de same air

i am sorry as i can

get enuf of everything u are

i hope nuting but de best of u

dats jus de i am

but i'll be here jus tinkin of u

holding on as long as i can

i know u might not be reading dis words

i am sorry to feel i must hide

but i dont want to ruin any1 happiness

while i'm already dead inside

who could have tot a silly crush

would eat ur heart away?

it proves crush is rightly named

wif dis emotions tearing me apart

i'm goin to cum on a screechin halt

b4 i say too much

but nvm i already did

i always do it as such

sue

aLL dAT'S LeFt ...

2004-07-28T21:10:00.000+08:00

i sit here tinkin of wat to write

noting cums to me on dis nyte

de only ting racin thru my mind

is you

i gave all i've ever had

hopin you will give it bck to me

apparently is much to ask for

obviously u're hiding behind a mask

only lettin me see wat you wanted

not knoeing ur memory was haunted

dat wat was left inside was only a ghost

dat ur body was only playi host

you couldn't love me

becos sum1 else had made you blue

sum1 had hurt you so and make u cry

dat even wen you wanted to believe all u heard was a lie

* if u read dis ... jus remember dat i care n worried bout u

sue

wHy....

2004-07-28T12:30:00.000+08:00

why is dat i am never gud enuf

why dont you understand dat i worried n care for u

why cant you see right thru my shimmering eyes

i need answers to all the questions

jus to let u noe one thing that i'm always dare for you

till death do us apart

sue

jUs T o AfRaid...

2004-07-28T10:51:00.000+08:00

loving sumting that i hate

jus to feel important for a short tyme

being in a depressed state

collecting so much dirt and grimme

digging myself deeper and deeper

and my heart is gettin steeper and steeper

you have damaged me

but i'm afraid to hurt you

afraid to let you at tyme

so scared to be alone

dis fear of feeling non existent

is consumin me

maybe u're jus not meant for me

sue

mOi fEElING sICK ...

2004-07-28T09:03:00.000+08:00

a brand new day

but never to me

is jus a plain day n lonely day as other days

feeling sick

no one to care about me

no one to worry bout me

no one @ all

sigh ~

i've already gave up everthing

i've already walk away from HIS life

i've noting but jus fwen

i do still care

and will still care

bout HIM

i dont noe y

but dats how i feel

i jus hope

he will find sumone better

who will shower

HIM wif

love

i've always pray to Allah swt

may he be blessed

sue

|oNeLinESS iS kILLinG mE...

2004-07-27T21:43:00.000+08:00

Love doesn't last foreva becoz we need oppurtunity for growth and healing

nice isn't it ?? sigh ~ i felt so lonely suddenly.... how am i suppose to heal dis loneliness.... been tinkin but dere no answer to it.... oh god can u help me wif sum answer.... or i meant to be dis way all along.... pple may c n hear my lafter but de loneliness i kept for long will never be shown to any1 except myself.... wat have i done wrong to deserve all dis.... oh god pls answer me.... i am beggin u.... i wish i could jus die n left all d worries n hurts i've been thru.... i tot wat in de past won't repeat history but the fact it did.... i don't believe at first but den after realisin i knew dat der r tings are meant for me but not all the tings dat cums to me r for me.... dey r jus a passer-by.... i was hopin for sympathy, care n love.... but i don't.... :'(

sue